the last choice
becomes easier.
every fiber
rebels against it.
still, it wanders around me
in semi-circles.
the gear clicks
into place.
another tooth.
the first choice.
follow the mass.
massive.
corded and struggling
against themselves.
every movement
is born of resistance.
i am the matter
that is stripped away.
my better half
survives in the womb.
i breathe in with
displeasure.
your hands force the
exhale.
every moment
spent
in preparation
for looking back.
you don’t want to see this.
look away.
and for strange reasons.
words and half-words
confuse me back to sleep.
i see orphaned lovers,
outlined, rough and hollow.
the answer lies face down
on the table…
scattered.
perfectly compressed,
and folded.
Like you,
I am torn down from the inside.
My parts recycled, sold
or abandoned.
Left to rot in the sun.
Blown away by this coarse wind.
What burns,
burns clean.
As dust, I protest still.
And wonder why I am given
to the clouds and red sky.
I travel the universe,
becoming all that I love.
…
if you can forget,
then I can forget.
.remember.
i beg you.
let me forget.
.remember.
inertia strips away my skin.
.remember.
and keeps protects my soul from ascension.
.remember.
please catch me off guard.
tell me you hate me.
tell me you never want to speak to me again.
tell me that i do not exist.
tell me i am a fool.
for ever thinking.
forever thinking.
i waited and waited.
you never came.
your skin callous to my whisper.
a hint of a turn.
and i retreat.